My quick rating – 4.7/10. Blood Shine makes it pretty damn clear something deeply weird is going on. It opens with an interesting sideways shot of a sunset as a woman appears to drag what looks suspiciously like a body bag across the landscape. Because apparently nothing says “welcome to the countryside” quite like questionable luggage. We then cut to an old tube television featuring Larry Fessenden, the blessed spectre of indie horror, preaching about the “new flesh.” If Fessenden is showing up on a crusty TV to tell you about the latest religious fad, perhaps don’t stick around to find out what it is.

Keith (Brendan Sexton III) soon discovers that his day isn’t improving. He reluctantly gets up for work at a cattle farm, only to learn that dying cows have put an end to that career. Then his tire blows out. Fortunately, Clara (Emily Bennett) happens to live within walking distance. She generously offers him shelter, claims to call a tow truck, and invites him inside to warm up.

Obviously, this goes perfectly normally. It does not. Surprise LOL.

The story eventually shifts to filmmaker Brighton (David Call), who is auditioning a potential final girl for his movie Craven 4, before the various pieces of this bizarre little puzzle begin coming together. Clara is one seriously creepy chick, and the whole thing develops a strange cult-meets-Misery vibe, except your helpful roadside stranger is considerably less interested in reading your next book.

There is plenty to appreciate here. The practical effects deliver some suitably bloody body horror, and the film mixes that with elements of folk horror and religious fanaticism. The production has a grimy, old-school indie-horror quality that works particularly well when things get messy. And, naturally, seeing Larry Fessenden pop up is always a welcome bonus.

Unfortunately, Blood Shine doesn’t quite turn its intriguing setup into something consistently satisfying. There are interesting ideas lurking underneath the blood, religious mania, and general “maybe I shouldn’t have gone inside this house” stupidity. The bizarre ending certainly commits to the weirdness, even if it left me wondering whether I’d missed a page of the script.

There are some really bad days, and then there are those bad days when you have a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, accept an invite from a total stranger, and suddenly find yourself being kept hostage by a zealot who thinks that torturous practices will transform you into a god. You definitely should have just called an Uber.

Keith, buddy. The tow truck was never coming.