My quick rating – 3.9/10. The Nice Ones starts with a gloomy stretch of farmland, where a man stands staring into the sky while holding a rifle. Because nothing says “welcome to the countryside” quite like a bloke armed and waiting for aliens, demons, or possibly just an unusually aggressive weather forecast. We then cut to a woman indoors watching some sketchy television before our rifle-wielding friend enters and she exits humanity. The credits kick in over some surprisingly upbeat music, because apparently the movie wants to have a little fun before things get weird.
Kate (Joelle Rae) and Dale (Emrhys Cooper) are traveling a considerable distance to meet up with friends at a remote countryside house. And credit where it’s due, at least they aren’t staying in a mouldy cabin surrounded by trees. This is a pretty nice house, which immediately makes me suspicious. Horror movies have taught us that nice houses are basically giant targets with mortgages.
During the drive, Kate spots a strange light in the sky, but Dale isn’t particularly interested. There are also various posts, flashes of text and other little details during the opening credits suggesting Kate has some history with mental health problems. Did you catch those “not human” articles? If not, don’t worry, The Nice Ones will make sure you understand that Kate has things going on. She’s also dating her former therapist, which seems like a fantastic decision. Especially for someone who is about to spend a weekend discovering that her friends may no longer be entirely human.
Sure enough, something starts changing the people around her. They become unnervingly calm, polite, helpful, and, worst of all, nice. It’s essentially a body-snatcher story where the alien invasion has apparently discovered customer service training. The glowing eyes are a fun touch, and there’s a decent idea buried somewhere in the middle of all this. Unfortunately, the movie never really develops it into anything particularly memorable.
Kate is obviously being set up as the final girl, while Dale spends a good portion of the movie demonstrating why surviving a horror film requires more than simply having functioning legs. The biggest problem, though, is the acting. The dramatic struggles and confrontations frequently feel awkward rather than frightening, making it difficult to care in what should be desperate situations.
There are a few bloody moments, although much of the splatter has a distinctly CGI flavor. And the whole thing is extremely predictable. The script feels like it needed another couple of polishing passes before anyone yelled “Action!”
The Nice Ones isn’t terrible. There are much worse horror movies out there, and the basic concept has some potential. Unfortunately, there are also plenty that do this sort of thing considerably better. By the end, the biggest mystery isn’t what happened to everyone else. It’s how this movie became so aggressively…nice.
