My quick rating –Â 3.8/10. Some movies fumble the ball. Others get flagged for unnecessary melodrama. Fantasy Football Ruined Our Lives manages to pull off the cinematic equivalent of punting on first down and then celebrating like it was a touchdown.
On paper, it sounded promising: a buddy comedy wrapped around a mystery, fueled by the obsessive energy of fantasy football leagues. Only—plot twist—it’s Italian. Which means we’re not talking about the NFL, but soccer. Yes, instead of arguing over whether to draft Patrick Mahomes, these degenerates are yelling at each other about Serie A midfielders, which is objectively less funny unless you already have an encyclopedic knowledge of Lazio’s bench depth. Netflix slapped a dub on it anyway, so you get the unique experience of hearing grown men scream “FOUL!” in English while their lips are clearly forming “fallo.”
The story kicks off when Gianni (Enrico Borello) vanishes on his wedding day, presumably fleeing from both matrimony and a terrible draft pick. His friends start recounting the chaos of his bachelor party, which should’ve been a comedy goldmine of sports obsession run amok. Instead, the film spends most of its runtime pivoting to a limp rom-com subplot between Andrea (Silvia D’Amico) and Simone (Giacomo Ferrara). She’s the league’s first female manager—gasp, progress!—and like Clockwork, the script immediately shoehorns in a romantic angle, because heaven forbid a woman be included in a sports comedy without also being a love interest.
The police investigation into Gianni’s disappearance is played with the same realism you’d expect from a Looney Tunes sketch, except without the charm. Officers shrug, crack jokes, and somehow schedule their questioning around fantasy football auctions. It’s not funny, it’s not suspenseful—it’s just baffling. And when the big reveal finally drops? Let’s just say you’ll wish they had kept him missing.
The pacing is a disaster. Comedy bits arrive late, panting and out of shape, while dramatic moments appear like uninvited relatives at a wedding reception: nobody asked for them, and they linger far too long. The humor itself is about as sharp as a deflated ball, full of predictable setups and punchlines you’ll see coming a full 90 minutes before they land.
And here’s the kicker (pun intended): if you’ve ever played in a fantasy league, you already know your Discord chat is funnier than this movie. Every league has the guy who drafts someone who retired two years ago, or the one who swears they’d win if it weren’t for injuries or referees. That real-life absurdity is where the comedy lives, and somehow this movie manages to avoid it entirely.
By far, the funniest material in Fantasy Football Ruined Our Lives arrives in the end credits scenes, which tell you everything you need to know about the preceding 96 minutes. If you make it that far, congratulations: you’ve officially outlasted the script.
