My quick rating – 4.2/10. A movie like Hands is one of those that lets you know exactly what it is within the first five minutes, and then spends the rest of its runtime repeatedly reminding you, just in case you somehow forgot. Underground fighting? Check. Clear hero and villain lines? Double check. A noble fighter turning down drugs mid-fight so you know he’s the good guy? Oh yeah, we’re doing that too.
That hero would be Carter (James M. Black), who radiates earnest determination and clean-living vibes, while his equally virtuous partner Naomi (Ashley A. Williams) mirrors the same “say no to drugs, say yes to fists” philosophy. The film isn’t subtle about any of this, but subtlety clearly wasn’t invited to the tournament. One of these two is absolutely getting the slow-motion, Eye of the Tiger–coded finale, and the movie practically winks at you while setting it up.
I’ll be honest. I hit play mainly to see what Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has been up to. By the second fight, about 20 minutes in, we’re already deep into the “all the work you’ve put in” motivational speech. Which is interesting, because we haven’t really seen that work. What we have seen is the movie’s fondness for time jumps. “Two years later” pops up so often it starts feeling like the official sponsor of the tournament circuit. Apparently, these underground death matches operate on an Olympic schedule, with long gaps in between for plot convenience.
Director Justin Kuhn leans hard into an ’80s–’90s martial arts action vibe, which is charming in theory but less so in execution. This is basically Enter the Dragon, only modernized, stripped of its mystique, and missing roughly 99% of the talent. Important character motivations and world-building details are skipped entirely – things that could’ve been fixed with a quick scene or two, but instead are left dangling like a missed kick.
Credit where it’s due. The focus on women’s fighting is appreciated, even if the choreography itself is only adequate. It works, it lands, but it rarely impresses. Donald Gibbs popping up is a fun surprise, especially since he’s not hunting down Nerds this time, and Billy Blanks showing up at all is… reassuring? He still has whatever that thing is. You know the thing.
The tournament-ending fight is one of the most anticlimactic I’ve seen in a while. But don’t worry, that’s not actually the end of the movie. Of course, Naomi still has to throw down with drug-peddling villainess Mindy (Tanjareen Thomas). Forget car chases, we’re going full foot chase, because why not?
Hands basically lands in that awkward space where it’s watchable enough to finish, but nothing you’ll ever remember. It swings, it misses, and occasionally lands a glancing blow. But once the credits were rolling, I knew I wouldn’t think about it again. And honestly? There are far better ones out there.
