My quick rating – 3.2/10. “A pulse-pounding collection of five short films…” is what the official synopsis promises. What I got was five lukewarm shorts stitched together with all the energy of a Tuesday afternoon nap. Always a bad omen when a movie doesn’t even bother with a trailer on YouTube, and Dark Cuts lives up to that dread. Anthologies are usually a mixed bag, but this one feels like a bag that’s already been dropped, stepped on, and left behind at the bus stop.
First up is “We Do This Once.” It’s about an amateur bank robbery that has all the suspense of waiting in line at the DMV. They throw in a touch of backstory to make us care, but if you’re waiting for a clever twist—don’t. The “once” in the title is probably a warning that you should only watch this once, if that.
Next, “Hide Your Crazy.” This one actually had a tiny spark of life. A dating story with a weird little special effect they were clearly proud of. The result is fun enough, but calling it “thrilling” would be generous. Calling it the best of this whole mess is a very backhanded compliment.
Then comes “Flowers.” A surreal piece about a woman stuck in grief over her dead kid. At least, I think that’s what it was about. Either way, it’s like watching someone try to cosplay David Lynch after bingeing a few too many pretentious student films. PSA: you are not David Lynch.
“Heart to Heart” follows, and oh joy. A woman kidnaps her boyfriend’s mistress (probably), and what unfolds is a flat, tensionless slog. Bad acting, worse dialogue, and not a single beat of suspense. If you’ve ever wanted to watch a thriller without any thrills, here’s your chance.
Finally, we land on “When Buying a Fine Murder.” The setup: a hitman is hired to kill himself. Intriguing premise! But instead of running with it, they pile on pointless dialogue, sprinkle in psychedelic 70s visuals that make zero sense, and collapse under their own faux-cleverness. What could have been the standout ends up as another wasted idea.
There’s no wrap-around story to tie these shorts together, just PowerPoint-level title cards announcing each segment like you’re about to attend a middle school book report. It’s cheap, it’s clunky, and it never once delivers the “thriller” it promises. What we’re left with is the cinematic equivalent of a grocery store anthology cookie pack—you know, going in at least half of them will be stale.
My verdict: Dark Cuts is a grab bag of weak ideas, limp execution, and Amazon Prime filler energy. Save yourself the time and rewatch Creepshow or even a random Goosebumps episode instead.
Amazon is the only place in town to check this one out right now.
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