My quick rating – 2.5/10. The Rake Investigation is another entry in the ever-expanding BCU (Bog Cinematic Universe?), proving that apparently every cryptid, urban legend, and creature someone once mentioned around a campfire deserves its own movie. This time the Bog crew heads back into the dark Northeast forest in search of the elusive Rake, and after watching the trailer I can honestly say I was warned. The warning signs were everywhere. I ignored them anyway. Sometimes curiosity wins. Sometimes curiosity gets punished for 75 minutes.
Things kick off with what can only be described as an acting masterclass, assuming the class is called “How Not to Deliver Dialogue.” A mayor and a couple of construction workers discuss people mysteriously disappearing in the area, and within minutes I was already questioning every choice that led me to pressing play. The Bogman gets mentioned, people are vanishing, and the movie immediately establishes the level of horror quality we’re working with.
Very soon, you meet yet another group of YouTube ghost hunters named Chasing the Unknown. The found-footage format will be familiar to you if you have been watching ghost hunter teams roaming around in the forest with cameras before. One running theme is that nobody seems to like Richard (Mitch Laing) very much. The movie spends a surprising amount of time showing us why, and after a while I started to understand their position. Unfortunately, understanding their dislike of Richard turned out to be more interesting than the actual investigation. And he wrote this, LOL.
The primary flaw in the movie is the sheer amount of time spent discussing rather than doing anything. Characters argue, gripe, roam about, and debate the Rake for what seems like an eternity without uncovering much of any importance. By the halfway point, boredom and stupidity were locked in a fierce battle for dominance over my viewing experience.
When the Rake finally makes more of an appearance, the results are…unique. The creature design is mostly practical, which is usually something I’d praise in a low-budget horror film. Here, however, it somehow works against the movie. The Rake ends up looking more goofy than frightening, and the filmmakers clearly hoped excessive sound effects would make up the difference. Spoiler alert: they don’t.
I did get a slight chuckle out of the Bigfoot references and the casual way the film mentions all these other cryptids the crew has apparently encountered. At this point, the BCU feels less like a cinematic universe and more like someone emptying an entire book of urban legends onto the table and seeing what happens.
Overall, The Rake Investigation feels like an inside joke that accidentally got turned into a feature-length movie. Between the weak acting, endless talking, uninteresting characters, and underwhelming creature work, there’s very little I can recommend. I was warned, I watched it anyway, and now I can confidently pass that warning along to the next unfortunate viewer.
