My quick rating – 3.4/10. I saw Danny Trejo in the cast, and being a fan of the man, I figured I’d give Accursed a shot. Of course, being a Danny Trejo fan also means knowing the man has appeared in some absolute shoddy shit over the years. Surely, this couldn’t be another one of those occasions. Well, let’s just say my expectations weren’t exactly rewarded.
We open with a home video from 2002 featuring a nun giving birth while another nun handles the nursing duties and a priest looks on in prayer. Things take a lovely turn when the first nun snatches the baby from its screaming mother and sacrifices it. Happy birthday, kid! The credits roll with some additional ritual footage, just in case anyone was still under the impression they’d accidentally put on a wholesome religious drama.
Fast-forward to the present, where Emma (Vivien Soraya) is being collected by her friends for a weekend getaway to celebrate her 21st birthday. There’s some nice scenery as the gang drives towards their destination, although someone is following them. Ooooh, mysterious! I’m sure that bit of pointless drama will become important later. Surely a movie wouldn’t waste our time with something that goes absolutely nowhere.
The group eventually arrives at some property that Daddy apparently arranged for them, although exactly what the place is or why they’re there isn’t particularly clear. At least he left Emma a birthday cake. Priorities, people. There’s also a slow-motion bikini reveal under a T-shirt that would have made considerably more sense if we hadn’t literally seen her wearing the bikini seconds earlier. Nice work, directors. Brains clearly wasn’t on the budget.
From there, we get the usual collection of suspicious behavior, questionable decisions, cult shenanigans and characters who apparently believe hearing is an optional feature. Fortunately, the film does deliver some practical blood effects, which is always appreciated. Unfortunately, blood splatter alone does not a good horror movie make. LOL.
It’s the combination of the characters, their relationships, the setting, and the plot that makes Accursed look like a mundane and uninspired attempt that is closer to hitting the word count for a script than an actual film. Nevertheless, it includes everything one could expect – the cursed secret, the dark prophecy, and the midnight ritual.
Then Danny Trejo turns up for a brief appearance during the climax, and a twist arrives hoping to salvage the whole sorry affair. Neither can save a movie that has done virtually nothing to earn either its dramatic finale or its revelations.
Thankfully, Accursed is only 78 minutes long. The sequel tease is actually a little creative, which is more than I can say for most of what preceded it. Still, creative or not, I won’t be volunteering for another round.
