My quick rating – 2.7/10. A 71-minute horror movie called Slaughter Night? Well, that’s either a promising sign of efficiency or a warning that even the filmmakers couldn’t stomach another ten minutes. Naturally, I went in expecting an intricate plot, compelling characters and perhaps a little cinematic sophistication. Okay, who am I kidding? The title pretty much tells you what you’re getting, and it certainly doesn’t disappoint when it comes to the slaughter.
We open with an owl, a masked lunatic and a woman duct-taped to a table. Not much time wasted on introductions, although our masked friend seems to have all the time in the world when it comes to actually getting around to killing someone. Eventually, he gets there, and we’re treated to our first helping of practical effects and bloody goodness before the opening credits. Straight to the point, at least.
Then we get a lovely little romantic stroll through the forest. Nothing says date night quite like walking your girlfriend into the middle of nowhere, leaving her there and heading back to the car alone. What could possibly go wrong? The answer is everything. It’s almost impressive how quickly these characters make decisions that seem specifically designed to shorten their life expectancy.
Before long, we’ve got another couple of victims, more duct tape and our masked killer, who looks like he’s dressed for an unpleasant black-tie dinner. Seriously, what’s with the bow tie? Is there a dress code for torturing people these days?
Eventually, we meet the rest of our victims. A family on a getaway who, naturally, can’t stand each other. Because being trapped with a sadistic psychopath isn’t enough misery. We also need the usual family squabbling. One of the funniest moments comes when our killer carries away the dead bodies. You can clearly see the actors being slung over his shoulder, but when it comes time to dispose of them, a convenient camera cut allows him to toss them around like empty candy wrappers. Award-winning body disposal, right there.
Director Thomas Sahagun gives us a pretty silly little production that clearly puts practical gore ahead of just about everything else. And that’s fine. The effects provide the main attraction, even if the movie never makes much effort to convince us that any of this is remotely realistic. Unlike Guinea Pig or August Underground, there’s little attempt to create that uncomfortable sense of authenticity.
Don’t come looking for sophisticated storytelling, convincing performances or characters worth getting attached to. That’s not what this movie is selling. It’s here to shock, splatter and hopefully make you squirm. Personally, I’ve seen FAR worse, and I’m willing to bet plenty of you have too.
The cops who eventually turn up are laughable, and their appearance conveniently sets things up for another installment.
Oh, please, please give us more. Because clearly, one night of this wasn’t quite enough.
