My quick rating – 3.5/10. Zombie Night is proof that zombies aren’t the only things that can come back from the dead. Looks like basic storytelling can also be resurrected, stumble around aimlessly for a while, and then collapse in a heap. This particular zombie flick has a simple premise. The undead emerge after dark, leaving the living to survive until morning. Sounds promising enough, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, the brains appear to be in short supply both on-screen and behind the camera.
The biggest problem with Zombie Night isn’t the zombies. It’s the acting, which is so wooden in places that I half expected termites to become the main antagonists. Daryl Hannah at least makes a valiant effort to inject some life into proceedings, but there’s only so much one person can do when the rest of the production appears to have been assembled during a particularly uninspired lunch break. And then there’s Anthony Michael Hall, who somehow ended up in this mess. You have to wonder what was going through the minds of these otherwise recognizable actors when they read the script. Was the pay good? Was there free catering? Did someone promise them a much better movie would be made later?
Then there’s the plot, or whatever passes for one. The dead are walking, people are in danger, and everyone seems to be making decisions that suggest survival is very much a secondary concern. Why have the dead risen? Is this a regular nightly occurrence? What’s actually going on here? Don’t expect satisfying answers. Zombie Night seems to have decided that explaining anything would only get in the way of its relentless pursuit of mediocrity.
Of course, there’s a certain entertainment value in watching a movie spectacularly fail to get its act together. You reach a point where you’re no longer invested in the characters or their survival. Instead, I am watching out of sheer morbid curiosity, waiting to see what fresh nonsense the filmmakers will throw at us next. It’s the cinematic equivalent of witnessing a car crash in slow motion, except the car is made of cardboard and the driver apparently hasn’t passed a single driving lesson.
Sadly, accidental comedy can only carry a film so far. The daft decisions, uninspired performances, and gaping holes in the story might provide a few unintentional laughs, but they don’t magically transform Zombie Night into a hidden horror gem. Even a low-budget zombie movie needs something to keep the audience engaged, and a cast of familiar faces wandering through a barely coherent story isn’t quite enough.
Zombie Night is a lame, mindless horror film that makes you wonder whether the zombies got the better end of the deal. Unless you’re a fan of gloriously inept horror or simply enjoy shouting at characters who seem determined to get themselves killed, your evening would probably be better spent watching something else.
After all, life is too short for bad movies. And if you’re going to spend a night with the undead, at least pick one that doesn’t kill off your brain cells before the opening credits are over.
